“Cousin, I’m sorry, but I really didn’t mean to.”
Lu Shuyuan sat opposite her with her head lowered, her voice dejected and tinged with sorrow.
“You know my sister has bullied me since I was little, and Mother doesn’t like me very much either. At home, I feel like someone nobody needs. Back then, you were the person I admired most. When I read your poems, I wished so much that I could be as free and happy as you. In my heart, you were someone to follow, someone to show me the way, so I…”
She paused, lowering her voice.
“Cousin, I’m sorry.”
Silence lingered for a while.
In truth, Lu Shuyuan found the situation rather humiliating.
They were sitting there in the living room, with Huo Xingchao beside them reading his newspaper impassively. Servants stood around with their heads lowered, and not one of them glanced her way.
It was as though this was nothing worth paying attention to.
Her face suddenly burned.
It felt as though she had been stripped naked in front of everyone, yet none of them could even be bothered to look at her.
Humiliated and aggrieved, she still had to swallow her feelings and force a smile for the person who had stripped her bare.
How cruel.
“Cousin…”
“I understand.”
Gu Zhi nodded. Whether she believed her was impossible to tell from her expression. Her voice was as soft and gentle as ever.
“Then don’t do it again.”
She glanced at her, a faint smile on her lips, and said simply, “I don’t like it.”
…
I don’t like it.
Such a simple sentence.
She sounded as calm and unruffled as if she were saying, “The vegetables delivered today aren’t fresh. I don’t like them.”
But why should she?
Why should I have to change just because you don’t like it?
What I choose to do is my own business.
How I speak, how I walk, what I tell people I like to eat and drink, those are all my choices. What do they have to do with you? What right do you have to tell me what to do?
At that moment, Lu Shuyuan desperately wanted to sneer and fling every word back at her.
If Huo Xingchao had not been sitting beside them, she really would have snapped back with something sarcastic.
But after glancing at the man’s indifferent expression, she ultimately chose to swallow her pride. She quietly lowered her head, her voice catching slightly.
“I’m sorry, Cousin. I understand.”
“…Why are you crying?”
Hearing it in her voice, Gu Zhi sounded surprised. “Does this upset you that much?”
She raised her eyebrows, thought for a moment, then gave a soft “Oh.” “If it makes you that unhappy, go ahead and copy me. It’s something you enjoy, and I suppose I’ve interfered with that. But when you copy me, please don’t do it in front of me. I really don’t like it.”
…
Lu Shuyuan had never met anyone as unpredictable as Gu Zhi.
She seemed completely unconcerned with keeping up appearances between them. Whatever she thought, she said outright. There was not a single curse among her words, yet each one struck like a knife at a vital spot, forcing Lu Shuyuan to flee.
Humiliated and resentful.
After she left, Huo Xingchao finally put down his newspaper and chuckled. “You didn’t spare her feelings at all. Aren’t you afraid she’ll take revenge?”
“Then let her.”
The girl began looping the string around his hands again and muttered, “I hate people like that. Always hemming and hawing, never making up their minds.”
“If she wants to hurt someone, she should just do it. If she doesn’t, then don’t. Instead, she follows you around every day, ready to hurt you, but insists on finding some high-sounding excuse before she gets started. I certainly don’t want to play with her.”
…That was true.
Lu Shuyuan did seem to be that sort of person.
Watching her fingers deftly hook the string, Huo Xingchao suddenly remembered something and raised his eyebrows.
“I heard you ran into He Xun in the courtyard at noon today. And gave him a flower?”
“You heard? Who told you?”
“Never mind who told me. First, tell me what you were trying to do.”
“I wasn’t trying to do anything.”
Gu Zhi blinked innocently. “I just went out for a walk and happened to run into him. He wanted to apologize, but I didn’t want to listen, so I stuffed a chrysanthemum into his mouth.”
Huo Xingchao paused.
After a while, he asked, “Do you know how much that flower you picked was worth?”
“I found out afterward.”
The girl lowered her head and sighed. “So I told him that if he was a gentleman, he should pay for it. He agreed at first, but when he realized he couldn’t afford it, he actually accused me of extortion. Don’t you think someone like that is shameless?”
“…A little.”
“Luckily, I escaped that misery in time and married you.”
She lifted her head with a sweet smile.
“You’re different. Even if I accidentally ruin a flower by picking it, you won’t make me pay. You’re so kind and considerate.”
The man raised his eyebrows, looking puzzled. “When did I ever say that?”
Gu Zhi’s face immediately fell. “Then you do want me to pay? But I don’t have that much money. How about my son paying off his mother’s debt when he grows up?”
…
“What a wonderful mother you are.”
In any case, by noon the following day, Lu Shuyuan had lost all desire to come over and chat after the previous day’s humiliation. After arguing with her mother, she returned to her room and shut herself inside. Nobody knew what she was doing.
Meanwhile, Gu Zhi’s former classmate Yan Zhen happened to visit, and the two sat in the little pavilion catching up.
Yan Zhen had once been Gu Zhi’s closest friend. They had attended school together in Wancheng, but after graduating from high school, her whole family had moved to Shanghai, where they had lived for two or three years.
For some reason, they had moved back this year. Hearing that Gu Zhi had married made her miss her terribly, so she came to the Huo residence to visit.
Gu Zhi studied her for a while.
Back at school, Yan Zhen had been the most popular girl. She was good-tempered and generous, with a gentle smile that made people feel close to her.
Yet in just a few years, she seemed to have changed completely. Her skin was much darker and sallower, her hair was pinned in a severe married woman’s bun, and her clothes were plain. The moment they clasped hands, Gu Zhi could feel her rough calluses.
She looked like a woman of thirty rather than twenty.
As they talked, Gu Zhi gradually learned that her years in Shanghai had been far from easy.
First, her father had died of illness. Then her stepmother had arranged for her to marry a carpenter. Money was scarce, and even while pregnant, she had had to take care of every household task herself, large or small.
Life’s hardships and suffering had swiftly turned a gentle young girl into a woman with sallow skin and rough hands.
“…Prices are rising so quickly now. Renting a little attic room costs twenty yuan a month. Even a jin of rice costs six cents. How are we supposed to save? In the end, a silver dollar only buys four jin of pork. Winter is almost here, and we don’t have enough quilts. My child is still so little. I can’t bear to let her go cold. Azhi, tell me, how could my father leave me like this…?”
Yan Zhen was not simply complaining about being poor.
She was truly miserable.
Before coming, she had decided that when she saw Gu Zhi, she would speak only of the good things, never the bad. Although her life was hard, she still had her pride and did not want to pour out her troubles to her closest friend.
But somehow, the moment she saw Gu Zhi’s familiar face, saw her sigh and the gentle concern and sympathy in her eyes, Yan Zhen could no longer hold back. Clutching her handkerchief, she began to weep quietly.
Gu Zhi was miserable too.
Once, Yan Zhen had been her best friend, with no worries about food or clothing, her face full of innocence and quiet grace.
Now, eight sentences out of ten concerned everyday struggles, and every subject came down to one thing: money.
As she was leaving, Gu Zhi handed her several banknotes, a pair of bracelets, and a little gold lock pendant. Seeing her frown, she immediately stopped her from pushing them back, her expression serious.
“These aren’t for you. They’re for Doudou. She’s already this big, and I still haven’t given her a first-meeting gift. If you’re free tomorrow, come and talk with me again. Better yet, bring Doudou. If you can, let her stay here with me for a few days. I hardly get to go out these days, and I’m terribly bored at home by myself.”
Yan Zhen held her hand and sighed softly.
“Azhi, since it’s you, I won’t refuse. You’re a fortunate girl. You always manage to make your life comfortable. What I’m about to say may not be pleasant, but I still want to say it. Just because Fourth Young Master Huo treats you well now doesn’t mean he always will. Whatever happens, you need to make plans for yourself. If your life ever takes an unexpected turn like mine, you’ll still have something to live on.”
…
Honestly, Gu Zhi thought Yan Zhen made a great deal of sense.
A man’s heart was as hard to find as a needle at the bottom of the sea.
She already found Huo Xingchao impossible to fathom. Who knew whether he might have a change of heart someday and bring home one concubine after another?
So that night, as she sat on the bed getting ready to sleep, her eyes immediately lit up when Huo Xingchao walked in, and she blinked up at him.
The man raised his eyebrows.
“What is it?”
“Fourth Young Master, I need your help with something!”
“Go ahead.”
She immediately climbed out of bed, fetched a small box from the wardrobe, opened it, and held it out to him.
“Could you exchange everything in this box for gold?”
The box was filled with banknotes, silver dollars, and jewelry. It was probably all of Gu Zhi’s private savings.
“What do you want to exchange it for gold for?”
Fourth Young Master Huo took the box and weighed it in his hands. “If you want some, I’ll give you a few bars to play with.”
“Yes, please!”
Gu Zhi agreed with a beaming smile. “After you give me those, could you also exchange what’s in my box for gold?”
“…What exactly do you need all this gold for?”
“For a rainy day. Prices are rising so quickly that I don’t think keeping banknotes is a good idea.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t let you go hungry.”
The man smiled. “All right. I’ll exchange it for you tomorrow and put it in the bank.”
“No, no.”
She shook her head like a rattle drum. “I’ll find somewhere to hide it myself.”
After thinking for a moment, the girl asked, “Where do you think it would be less likely to get dug up, in the mountains or underneath the country estate?”
“…”
Huo Xingchao closed the box and frowned in puzzlement.
“Gu Zhi, have I ever left you short of food or clothes? Why are you going to such lengths to hide your private savings?”
Gu Zhi glanced at him. “You don’t understand.”
“Of course I didn’t need to hide it before, but now I’m married to you. Just think how dangerous you are.”
“Families like yours are the most likely to run into trouble. If anything happens, people will dig three feet into the ground to strip this residence bare. It wouldn’t be safe unless I hid it farther away. I have to plan for my child’s future.”
Huo Xingchao paused, then told her firmly,
“You don’t need to worry about that. Nothing will happen to the Huo family. Even if you have seven or eight children, I can support them.”
Naturally, he was certain.
Even fifty years further into the story, when he died, the Huo family was still doing perfectly well.
But to his surprise, the girl glanced at him and waved a hand.
“Spare me the sweet talk. As if I don’t know what you men are like.”
“You’re nowhere near as reliable as gold.”
…
The man gave a cold laugh.
“Gu Zhi, do you know why you’re still not famous after writing poetry for so many years?”
“…You can talk without insulting me!”
“Because your poems reek of money.”
Aaargh!
“You’re sleeping by yourself tonight!”
“Why should I?”
“I need to count my money!”
The girl glared at him indignantly. “Who knows whether you might pocket my gold?”
…
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