He had heard that Rosa commanded the siege, but thought she had done her best to survive, not acted out of any responsibility. Then why? She spoke as though she had heard his thoughts.
“You said everyone who came into this house was a Brother of the Hawk.”
He had said it on the night the men made rude remarks to Rosa in her dress. He had meant to protect her, but had never imagined she might attach meaning to those words. No, perhaps thinking that way had failed to give her the respect she deserved. Rosa was not someone who welcomed gifts for nothing.
“If I agreed to stay five days, I should do my best during them. A name carries responsibility. I tried to act accordingly, but it didn’t go very well. So don’t try to apologize. I decided to stay here. If anything, I should say I’m sorry I couldn’t protect it, like the other men.”
It was an unexpected response, but Gene could not simply rejoice in it. The words “five days” caught in his throat like a thorn.
“Then the five days are over. Will you leave tomorrow?”
“Why think that?”
A different light entered Rosa’s brown eyes. He had never seen it before and did not immediately understand.
“If telling me to think for five days and answer meant you were pushing me out, I suppose I’ll have to go.”
“No, that wasn’t what I…”
As he tried to speak, Rosa stepped closer. Then she held out her right hand. It was not quite an offer to shake hands, more as though asking him to give her something. Gene looked at it, puzzled. She shook it as though asking for it.
“Here.”
Still at a loss, he tried to lay his right hand on hers. At that instant, Rosa seized it and pulled hard. She was stronger than he expected. Almost dragged forward, he instinctively twisted her wrist behind her and pulled. His body’s trained reflex had acted before his thoughts. The moment he realized what he had done, he was startled and quickly released her. Rosa stood before him, almost in his arms.
“Are you all right?”
Above her, Gene looked down with his eyes wide. Pushing him lightly away with her left hand, Rosa stepped back, keeping her right hand raised. Wondering whether he had broken her wrist, he moved closer to examine it, but she hid it behind her.
“It isn’t broken.”
“But you seem hurt.”
“No. It’s all right. Don’t worry.”
With her hand hidden, Rosa looked up at him, then smiled. It was the same smile Gene had seen only once before.
“It’s how my grandmother tested whether the soldiers were ready. Fortunately, you don’t seem to have relaxed quite that much yet.”
“You tested me? Why?”
“In case you die in four days.”
Gene could not speak. Before he could ask whether he looked so weak, whether she thought he would lose to an old general, whether he looked foolish enough to be careless before a duel with his life at stake, he was so caught by the fact that Rosa was worried about him that no words came to mind.
“Then do well.”
Something about it sounded like a farewell. In that instant, Gene cast aside his hesitation, his apology, and his embarrassment, and said what he had wanted to say.
“No. Don’t go. Stay.”
Rosa blinked. Her expression was the same as always. Then she folded both arms around herself and hunched her shoulders as though cold. Before Gene could come to himself and wonder what he had just said, she answered, “All right.”
For a while, silence followed. Both seemed to be thinking about what they themselves had said. Rosa turned and walked a few steps toward the back entrance, then looked back.
“See you at the lodgings.”
She jumped over the boards at the back and left. The rain was just beginning to ease. Gene stood alone for a while, thinking. All sorts of thoughts crossed his mind, but in the end a smile came. It was not a bad feeling. He too went out through the front, walked a few paces away, and looked up at Hawk House again. The original question returned. Why did he mean to fight?
The half-erased hawk looked down at him. The name Shadowhawk had survived more than thirty years because Beka, Garon Vendigate, had left powerful memories in people’s minds. As Luke had said, Gene himself was one of the creations that name had produced. Yet by chance, he was also the man who held the sword and talents Garon had passed on.
General Nikephoros had challenged him, to break what Garon left behind. In truth, it was probably more accurate to say he wished to duel with the Garon engraved within Gene. Of course, Gene held countless other things too. He was a self so complicated that the word scarcely covered him. Yet only a few of his strongest memories were ones he treasured and loved. One was the four years he had spent with Beka.
To stake his life for those memories.
It was not a bad reason. But at the same time, it also included the things, the people, and the feelings he had gained during two years in Delphinad, within the name Shadowhawk. Rarely had he lived so close to his true nature as during those two years. He, once wrapped in fetters and boiling with shame and rage, had regained smiles and composure. Nightmares no longer tormented him. His mother’s wish, Queen Sabina’s relentless hatred, the dead Thea, the face of his younger brother Pallasos that brought only confusion the more he thought of it, all were far away.
Here, Gene was not Polytimos, prince of Epherium. He was Gene Evernight, raised in the back alleys, the Shadowhawk. Everything he had built and earned through his own skill was here, insignificant things that had nonetheless made him free.
If those things had value, he would have reason to protect them.
Gene turned away from Hawk House. As he walked into the street, a few people smiled at him. He could not quite smile back, but he thought that he too must have left memories in their minds. In a different way, as Garon had left something in both those people and Gene, he was making something of his own.
As he walked, his wet clothes grew uncomfortable. Pulling at the rolled edge of his sleeve, he suddenly thought of something. In truth, it had kept coming back to him for a little while. When Rosa pushed him away, he had felt her hand stroke his waist. Had he imagined it?
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