At first, it sounded like the wind. Tina shifted, touched the baby in her arms, and tried to fall asleep again. The reeds stirred once more. Then they disgorged men. One, two. There were ten of them.
The baby began to cry.
Tina sat up and held him upright, trying to soothe him. Far from quieting, he cried louder and louder. Had he woken in fright? Hungry and exhausted, her mind filled with the baby’s cries, Tina failed to notice the approach. She was just about to nurse him when the man who had come in behind her spoke.
“At last, we’ve found you.”
Turning her head, she saw a familiar face. General Livolla. She had seen him only once, but remembered him because he had been standing beside the queen. Everyone who stood beside the queen glared at Tina. General Livolla’s gaze, in particular, had been that of a beast of prey. It was the same now. Tina froze like a small animal.
“Stay still. Yes, just like that.”
Livolla gestured. Two men came in ahead and blocked her way. The others remained in the reeds, keeping watch. Three men were enough for a woman holding a baby, but Livolla feared something more. He glanced at the broken roof. The sun was still up. He was safe for at least another three hours.
“Why don’t we spare ourselves the trouble? It’ll be easier if you come quietly.”
“W-what do you mean…?”
“I’m taking you somewhere safe. Come along.”
The word “safe” confused Tina’s exhausted mind. Livolla was the queen’s trusted man, but he was also the king’s subject. Had he come to take her back to the palace? Could she finally rest?
But the cruel fancy her dazed mind had offered shattered at his next words.
“Will you hand over His Highness first?”
No.
Tina tightened her hold on the baby and rose slowly. Instinct warned her. Even if she were a small animal facing a predator, she held someone weaker still. A baby no one but she could protect.
“I’ll carry him.”
“Don’t be difficult. Give him here.”
“No.”
At Tina’s resolute refusal, Livolla gave a derisive snort and looked around.
“Finding this place cost us a great deal of trouble. But it has its advantages. Now that we’ve found you, there’s no way to run, and no one to come if you scream.”
“What do you intend to do to the baby?”
Livolla’s hesitation lasted only an instant. Tina understood everything. Her legs shook and tears spilled down her face. She could not defeat three men. She could not shake them off and flee. She was going to die here. Struggling to live would not protect the baby for even ten minutes longer. The mere thought of what would happen to him after her death seemed to close a noose around her throat. If only the baby would be safe, if she could believe that, she would endure anything. They could tear her to death.
Watching Tina tremble and weep, Livolla suddenly remembered the banquet where she had appeared after giving birth and receiving her name. Tina had been the victor that day, the queen the defeated one. Yet she had shown not the slightest sign of savoring her victory. She had been beautiful, splendidly dressed, holding the prince who would inherit the kingdom and receiving all the king’s attention, but she had been afraid.
Livolla had thought it curious. A lowborn person who had risen so far and gained such powerful allies ought easily to become arrogant. A common dancer could hardly have the judgment to think of modesty in such a position.
Now he thought he understood. It had been instinct. People who trained their bodies over many years were said to develop their instincts. Ascetic priests, blacksmiths, stonemasons, musicians, jesters, soldiers, and dancers, too. It was a world unknown to nobles who lived at ease and scholars.
The sense that makes a cup of wine offered by another suddenly taste bitter. The sense that, even if no real poison lies within, someone has poured the drink with poison in his heart. Tina was too ignorant to name the feeling, but she must have known then.
That a day like this would come.
She had known, and still could not escape it.
“Then follow me as you are. But if you try to run…”
There could be no worse condition. She was going to die anyway. Livolla thought for a moment and added,
“The baby will die very cruelly.”
Seeing her expression, he was certain that she would never run.
The queen had not told him to bring them back alive. All he needed was confirmation after they were dead. Cutting off their heads and taking those would be the surest proof, but carrying them into the palace was dangerous. If they were discovered, being torn limb from limb would be the least he could expect. So the queen had said that if he hid the bodies in a suitable place, she would send someone trustworthy to confirm them. Anywhere would do. In other words, even the watermill would not have been a problem.
Livolla did not spare Tina and the baby there out of pity. He had another fear. The fear that had helped him find Tina, but which he did not wish to encounter any further. He did not want to spill blood in these reeds. He intended to take them somewhere far away and kill them without leaving a trace.
Two soldiers walked ahead. Tina followed, and Livolla brought up the rear. The remaining men kept some distance, watching the surroundings. The reeds were tall enough to hide them.
The sky was overcast. Rain seemed likely by nightfall. Tina said nothing. She did not once plead for her life. She merely stumbled onward like a living corpse. Was her resignation making her calm? She had even been walking for a little while with her dress loosened and her breast exposed.
Livolla thought that if she fell, the baby would be hurt. Then he laughed at himself for thinking it. Somehow, once the thought occurred, he could not resist speaking.
“You’re a lucky woman, falling into my hands.”
“What do you mean…?”
“You’d have met a far worse end in someone else’s. That’s what I mean.”
Tina turned her head weakly, then nodded.
“I see.”
“You sound as though you think I’m talking nonsense.”
“No. I think you’re right. Thank you.”
After a while, Tina began humming softly. It was a gentle melody, like a lullaby.
“You can sing at a time like this?”
“It’s because it’s a time like this.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Today is the only day left. For my baby to hear his mother sing.”
Livolla had no answer and fell silent. With only the low song sounding, the quiet procession made its way through the reeds.
Meanwhile, something changed in Livolla’s heart. Something unexpected. As he listened to Tina hum, desire slowly stirred. At first, he tried to ignore it. But as the reed bed neared its end, it grew worse. By the time they reached the place where the horses were tied, his head was spinning.
He wanted to bury his face in the dark hair he had watched without feeling only a little earlier and breathe in its scent. He wanted to touch her pale, tear-streaked neck and put his arms around her slender waist. Until then, Tina’s beauty had been no more than a way to identify her. No woman of the king’s was ugly. What did it matter? She had nothing to do with him.
But at this moment, the fragile woman who had once belonged to the king was in his power. Her lullaby sounded like mourning for her own approaching death. The tender song, all the sadder for its tenderness, exerted a strange fascination. He could not tell whether what he wanted was to confirm his power, to enjoy danger, or to offer comfort. Perhaps it was all of them together.
What will Mama do
for all the life my baby has left?
I’ll cradle you and nurse you.
I’ll kiss you and pat you gently.
I’ll sing you a song.
For all the rest of my baby’s life…
When the soldiers untied the horses, Livolla had Tina mount behind him, then ordered the men to return to the city and report first. They looked surprised, but obeyed. He did not want them to know what he was about to do. If Queen Sabina heard of it, he would find himself in a very difficult position.
After riding for some time, he turned into a stand of brush. It seemed suitable both for what he intended and for concealment. In a clearing, he stopped and dismounted. Then he drew his riding whip.
Tina stood with her back to a tree. Her tears had dried, but her eyes were red and swollen, and white traces of dried tears marked her cheeks and chin.
“Take off your clothes.”
Tina gazed at him. She seemed to be thinking through what was happening. Perhaps it was something she had often experienced. Just as Livolla was about to hurry her, she reached one hand behind her neck and undid the fastening. The tunic fell to the ground.
Naked, with her baby in her arms, she asked,
“You still intend to kill me afterward, don’t you?”
Only Livolla’s eyebrows moved a little. Tina nodded.
“I understand. I want to ask just two things. First, I don’t want my baby to see.”
Livolla nodded, and Tina continued.
“The other is that you listen to me a little before that. Even if it sounds absurd, don’t stop me halfway. Hear me to the end before you decide. You can refuse afterward. Just listen to all of it. Then I’ll do whatever you tell me.”
“What is it? Be quick.”
He cared nothing for talk of babies, but it was easy enough to pretend to listen. She would ask him to spare her. If he did not, that would be that. She only had to keep it short.
But her first words were unexpected.
“If you kill us today, you’ll die too.”
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