When Gene did not answer readily, Dalsad moved a little closer.
“I am not trying to tease you. I ask because of my pride. To be honest, I was a little surprised by your stubbornness then. Of course, I had no intention of sharing your bed then either. The test was not over yet, after all.”
That night, Gene had been thinking of Thea. His ring was not on his hand today. Since the purpose of the banquet was obvious, he could not bring himself to wear it out. Would Thea be asleep by now? Or had she been unable to sleep?
“After waiting a little, I went back to clear away the bottle and found you sleeping so sweetly. I could not imagine you were the same man who had been covered in blood the day before. I like that about men. So in truth, I have already touched my lips to you once.”
Dalsad lightly touched Gene’s forehead with her index and middle fingers. It was a deeply rude act toward a prince, but Gene did not know whether to laugh or grow angry. Then Dalsad pressed close and kissed him. Having kissed her before he knew what was happening, Gene immediately spoke.
“I cannot take you as my consort.”
“I know.”
“And I cannot very well draw you into my bed. Having even met your father.”
“My father would be happy. If it were not for you, his daughter would never have a bridal chamber until she died.”
“What do you mean by that?”
He could feel the suppleness of Dalsad’s body. When Gene pushed her away, Dalsad laughed.
“You wish to know the reason. Very well. It is because you are an Eumnan.”
Dalsad then told him a surprising story. She was half Jandana. Long ago, the castle lord’s elder sister had been taken captive by the Jandana and borne Dalsad. When Dalsad was five, her husband had died, and she returned to Saemgeuneul Castle. Before long, she died too. The castle lord took the orphaned Dalsad in as his daughter and raised her.
The problem was that the Jandana still considered Dalsad one of their own. A Jandana woman married only a man recognized as a warrior. If she married a man who was not, warriors who considered themselves insulted killed the man. There were two ways to become a Jandana warrior. One was a lion hunt, the other a formal duel with someone already recognized as a warrior.
“Neither is easy for Epherium’s men to accomplish. I was destined to become a widow no matter whom I married. So I could not accept any proposal, even as I reached this age. Of course there is a way to cut ties with the Jandana, but I too have the eyes of a civilized person, don’t I?”
Since Gene had fought and defeated Giros, who had been an Eumnan, one against one, he was the only man in Epherium who could marry Dalsad. Gene stared at her in disbelief. Dalsad spoke.
“I saw your consort earlier. She is young and delicate. I will not threaten her. Did you not choose me with that in mind too? The new consort His Majesty wants will not be a woman like me. I merely wish to lie with you by my own will. It does not seem easy to meet another man for whom both my heart and my fate permit it. So I do not wish to miss such an opportunity.”
“I thought respectable women wished for only one husband in a lifetime.”
“Respectable women of Epherium probably do. But I am half savage. Giros was a childhood friend. Quite a few Jandana warriors are old friends of mine. The Jandana queen marries countless men in her life. Partly because Jandana men die so easily in duels, but above all because a noble being like a queen has a duty to embrace many men. Because the queen is merciful, she bestows friendship upon as many men as possible. Even so, that does not change the fact that the queen is a sacred, exalted being, pure as snow upon a mountain. I am not a queen, but I do not wish to spend my whole life alone, and I think it is enough if I know in my heart who my husband is. Ah, do not misunderstand. That husband can change at any time. I am still young, after all. Oh, may I tell you why I like you?”
Dalsad suddenly reached out and stroked the nape of Gene’s neck. The wound, closed and healed, slowly met the touch of her hand.
“The most captivating thing is the fact that once I held your life in my hands. I enjoyed holding it for a while, wondering whether to press down or not. And as I did, I fell more and more deeply for you. That day in Saemgeuneul Castle, you were the strongest being there. Ah, yet I had a finger resting on a little vital point of yours. If you knew the truth, you might cut me down in a single breath, yet there you stood before me with your sword in its sheath. Knowing nothing, listening to my story. Thinking of that, you were so very lovely…”
Gene grasped Dalsad’s wrist.
“You do everything as you please. You try to kill me as you please, then let me live, then tell me about it again. What will you do if I grow angry and kill you now?”
“Do you wish to? I will not refuse.”
Dalsad’s hand bent like a fish, took Gene’s wrist again, drew it toward her, and pressed it to her own throat.
“I have no intention of denying that you have the right. You may make a different choice from mine.”
Having played with Gene’s life as she pleased, this time she had placed her own life in his hand and was gazing steadily at him. Perhaps it was because she believed he would never kill her. Perhaps she truly thought it did not matter if she died. Perhaps it was because she concealed some other design…
In that instant, Gene understood the fascination Dalsad had felt. The wish to love someone one could kill. It was something Dalsad had taught him. There were all sorts of relationships in the world. Beyond loving or hating. Beyond enduring or running away.
He felt dizzy, as though surrounded by something like mist. This woman with her strange fate possessed a power difficult to explain. At first, he had thought only that she was beautiful, but now she seemed like a goddess. Yes, like a goddess. A goddess who possessed one half of the heavens, endlessly returning, renewing herself and coming alive again, someone no one could kill or defile, who in some instant seemed whole once more. She determined her own fate. He, by contrast, was always living in a fate decided for him by someone else. Even in this instant. Suddenly, he wished to receive a share from her. Of such power.
Dalsad smiled faintly.
“I believed you would not insult me by refusing me any further.”
Gene pushed Dalsad down onto the bed. Holding the cord that opened the breast of her dress, Dalsad smiled at him.
Gene woke at dawn. When the faint, satisfying dream vanished, he reached out and felt beside him on the bed. It was empty. As Dalsad had said the night before, she had vanished alone.
The night before, Dalsad had told him the story of a certain star. While other stars traveled only their fixed paths again and again, there was one that went as far away as it pleased and returned after decades. As it drew near, it gradually grew brighter, until at last it shone even in broad daylight and changed the world. Gene too had seen it. The brilliant cloak streaming as that star raced.
There was more than one path along the way from a lowly child to a splendid prince. He had endured because he thought he must not stray, and thought it was for everyone’s sake, but he had forgotten it was not for his own sake. Why must he endure? Why must he not burst out?
Gene called an attendant and had him bring the clothes he had worn on the expedition. He fastened his belt and put on his boots. Traces of blood still faintly remained. Leaving the magnificent room, he crossed the rear garden and went to the detached palace where his mother Erektina stayed.
Erektina’s detached palace was called the Hut of Paradise. The king himself had bestowed the name. But that hut was a palace with seven splendid rooms, a bath perfumed with roses, jasmine, and lavender, a dining room that could hold more than a dozen people, and a kitchen filled with every spice from north and south. When he reached the entrance, the court ladies bowed in surprise. Dawn had not yet entirely cleared, but it had also been a very long time since Gene visited his mother’s quarters.
There was movement inside the door. She seemed to be awake already. When Gene stood before it, the court ladies who ought to have announced the prince’s arrival hesitated.
“Please, wait a moment. My lady has not finished her morning preparations.”
“That should not matter.”
There was no reason a mother could not meet her son because she was not dressed. Besides, countless times Gene had seen Erektina after she had spent the night doing needlework, her eyes hollow, without even having washed her face. He felt no need to observe elaborate proprieties anew. Nor could the king be there. The king had drunk too much at the banquet the night before and collapsed into sleep.
“We are deeply grateful. But we are the royal consort’s court ladies, so we must do as she commands…”
“As my lady is feeling unwell today…”
Listening to their long-winded excuses irritated him. Gene wanted to see his mother at once. He had come with things he wished to say, so he did not want to wait. When Gene stepped forward as though he would fling open the door, the court ladies cried out and blocked him. In disbelief, Gene glared at them.
Then the door opened.
“Elder prince. Did you rest comfortably last night?”
Gene looked up at the tall man bowing to him. Wrinkles spread like veins over his long face and were drawn toward his chin. In the center of those swirls sat yellowish eyes. Those eyes, which had also struck at someone’s heart, were now relaxed with satisfaction. Realizing that, Gene’s face flushed sharply.
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